In Sex Reviews, writers offer a sober critical assessment of the sex scenes in new films and television series. This installment contains spoilers for Bridgerton Season 3.
When Bridgerton’s first season came out, on Dec. 25, 2020, its sex scenes were a major selling point. That season’s couple—eldest daughter of the many-siblinged Bridgerton family, Daphne (Phoebe Dynevor), and ex-rake, new duke Simon (Regé-Jean Page)—really, really enjoyed each other, up against the wall in the library, up against a pillar in the rain, you name it. It was a good thing nobody was going home for the holidays that year, because the show, on its maiden voyage, was utterly unwatchable with parents.
Season 2 had a distinctly different approach to pacing, with the sex scenes between the viscount Anthony Bridgerton (Jonathan Bailey) and Kate Sharma (Simone Ashley) coming as a late payoff to their enemies-to-lovers plotline. We covered the prequel show Queen Charlotte on Sex Reviews when that came out last year, finding it to be a bit tepid. And now we have Season 3, with a friends-to-lovers plot that brings together Colin Bridgerton (Luke Newton) and neighbor and family friend Penelope Featherington (Nicola Coughlan). This season was released in two batches of four episodes; eager “Polin” shippers (as well as people wondering whether brother Benedict is bisexual, or hoping to see widow-and-mother Violet Bridgerton get her turn in the sun) got access to Episodes 5 through 8 on Thursday.
You may have your opinions on whether the plotlines this season left something to be desired (and boy, did people online have them), but the more important question is this: Did the sex on Season 3 clear Bridgerton’s very high bar? Below, Slate senior editor Rebecca Onion and culture writer Nadira Goffe assess.
Season 3, Episode 1, Minute 26: Anthony and Kate Are Back!
Rebecca Onion: Man, I missed Anthony and Kate. It’s usually a jolt to me when romance shows (or writers!) try to work previous couples back into a new season or book. Like—we’ve moved on, OK? I almost didn’t mind when I heard that Regé-Jean Page was not coming back after Season 1; I didn’t need little hits of the memory of Simon and Daphne to muddle up my focus on the new couple in Season 2. But this couple has the juice, for whatever reason, and I was so glad to see them.
These newlyweds are in Bridgerton House, trying to kiss and get something going. But they keep getting interrupted—by Kate’s corgi at the door, or the voice of Violet Bridgerton calling out somewhere in the depths of the mansion. Anthony’s face when he pops up from his cunnilingus interruptus made me laugh. What did you think about this scene?
Nadira Goffe: Oh, how I love these two. They just have so much buoyant charm! When Kate says, “You do know that what we are doing is not how one makes an heir?” and kicks her leg over just so, in a way that makes Anthony’s head hit the mattress, you can’t help but tee-hee! And, good Lord, the way Jonathan Bailey as Anthony spreads his arms while lounging on the bed is nearly reminiscent of a Renaissance painting. They are just joyous—a true delight to watch both in the context of sexual intimacy and outside of it. I would even entertain a Bridgerton Season 2, Part 2, if that option were on the table.
Speaking of a Part 2, Anthony and Kate go back at it while in the study, a moment awash in such dramatics as Anthony wiping some papers quite ceremoniously off the desk as they flutter toward the camera and scatter around the room. The kids will be all right, it seems.
Season 3, Episode 2, Minute 9: Colin in Bed With Two Ladies, Likely of the Demimonde
Nadira: I couldn’t help but laugh here! The euphemized context surrounding Colin’s return from his gallivanting around Europe is that he has been fucking his way across the Mediterranean. He comes back as this somewhat tan and scruffy, more chiseled, laissez-faire man who has dipped a toe into the fountain of hedonism and decided that’s his new personality. It is intended to read as debonair charm, which he supposedly tries to inject into his normal life by having threesomes with women that we can assume are sex workers. In this instance, he lies naked (covered by sheets) in a canopy bed with two ladies, trading kisses between them before rushing off to his next appointment. Did you find this a bit comical, like I did?
Rebecca: It is incredibly cheesy to use a two-girl, one-guy threesome in a bed covered in drapery to signify “guy who is sowing his wild oats.” And as others have argued about this season, a big problem is that while Penelope—longtime wallflower and secretly the gossip columnist Lady Whistledown—is fascinating, Colin just doesn’t really have much going on. It’s all too perfect that the show tries to deepen his character with a scene like this, then signals the idea that he’s falling for Penelope in Episode 4 by showing him trying to start up a second threesome with these women before deciding not to follow through. Correct me if I’m wrong, but these ladies possess the only boobs you see on camera this season? That’s how hard the show is trying to make “fuckboy Colin” a thing.
Nadira: We do certainly see some chest in the fourth episode’s tryst cut short that you mention, and then again in a later Polin scene (which we will dutifully get to). But, I completely agree with your underlying sentiment here. #FreeTheNip, Bridgerton!
Season 3, Episode 4, Minute 44:45: THE Carriage Scene (™)
Rebecca: The famous “Carriage Scene” between Penelope and Colin, though it doesn’t lead to penetration, is for me the height of this season’s sex scenes. In the lead-up, Colin confronts Pen about her other suitor, the kind blond vegan Lord Debling, who has just said that he won’t marry Penelope because he suspects she and Colin harbor feelings for each other. Colin confesses he can’t stop thinking about her, and they come together in a clinch, both breathing hard, staring at each other intently. Some fingering happens, and like every lady on TV, Penelope seems to come almost immediately. I just loved how much eye contact they had in this scene—it reminds you continually that they have known each other forever …
Nadira: There was a TikTok trend of wives recording their husbands’ reactions to the Carriage Scene™—and this one, from @hashtagkarenag of her husband, John, is the crème de la crème. The video is relatable for many reasons: Besides the fact that John is always eating ice cream in these Bridgerton scene reactions, his commentary is also incredibly relevant. From the bafflement at Colin’s 180 switch from having threesomes with sex workers to now apparently being in love with Penelope, to the question of “How far is this carriage ride, though?,” John echoed most of my thoughts pertaining to the questionable logic surrounding the scene. However, John missed one question: How on Earth am I supposed to keep a straight face when the show set such an important moment to a Pitbull song?
However, the steaminess of this scene makes me incredibly forgiving of the rest. I greatly appreciate that, at the end of the day, it is Colin who chases Penelope and not the other way around. And, naturally, it pleases me that his first act is focused on pleasing her. In addition to the eye contact, the other great reminder that these two are long-standing friends lies in their shared giggle when the carriage stops and Colin, semi-seriously, exasperated, begs, “Can the carriage driver not keep on driving?” It was the perfect coda to this abbreviated encounter. And, like John, I will forgive Penelope for falling into the trope of TV women climaxing almost immediately, due to the sheer time constraint of riding in a carriage for what couldn’t have been more than 10 in-world minutes.
Season 3, Episode 5, Minute 15:31: Polin Tour Their Future Home
Nadira: Perhaps the only true sex scene of the season is this much-anticipated “Mirror Scene,” which occurs when Penelope and Colin are visiting the apartment they’ll live in after they’re married. This is Penelope’s First Time (with penetration), and like all great cherry-popping scenes, it starts off with consent! Colin tells Penelope it’s OK if she wants to stop (hot!), slowly undoes her corset in front of the mirror as her satin slip falls to the ground (also hot!), whispers in her ear to lie down on a chaise longue while a string quartet cover of Ariana Grande’s “POV” kicks in (yes!), and slowly undresses himself while bathed in sunlight (now we’re talkin’!). The scene continues—aided by a royal-blue satin-y throw blanket hilariously used to tactically cover any seriously NSFW bits—with Penelope, Type A queen of maintaining her own agency, asking Colin what she should do. She goes to touch his dick, but, likely worried he will come too soon, he says they’re not at that stage yet before asking if he can insert himself, partially, inside of her. And it is here that I wonder, where is the requisite foreplay? The making out? Nervous Penelope looks cold! She’s holding her breasts with her hands still, though she will eventually drop them giving us the aforementioned Polin boob moment.
Colin stops before going all the way in, warns Penelope that it might hurt (though, it should only be this first time, he says), and they continue on. To which, Penelope apparently experiences immediate pleasure. Good for her?
Rebecca: I know TV has to do it this way. You can’t watch an entire long foreplay scene. There needs to be telescoping. But I really hate how quickly the actual sex in this scene feels like it goes, how super-missionary P-in-V it is, and how immediately Penelope, a virgin who had her first kiss a matter of weeks ago, seems to get into it, despite all that! Filmed movie sex scenes like this gave me a very weird idea, when I was younger, about sex. I should have started with romance novels at an earlier age. They’re a lot more realistic about this kind of stuff—the good ones, anyway.
Personal musings aside, and taking this on TV’s terms, this was a good, awkward, sweet, sincere “first sex” scene. It might not live up to all the hype about being Bridgerton’s longest-ever sex scene—the two stars have even talked about how they broke the chaise while filming it—but it was pretty good. I can’t believe I didn’t remember that we see Penelope full frontal, and we also get a nice shot of Colin’s butt from the back. Good butt! Good blue drapery, which is classic Bridgerton.
Season 3, Episode 7, Minute 56: Benedict Decides to Go for It, With a Threesome
Rebecca: This “scene” gets split up in spurts across Episodes 7 and 8, which is, in my opinion, somewhat of a cowardly move on the show’s part. Benedict (Luke Thompson), the second Bridgerton brother, who has been coded as possibly gay or bi (leading to much debate in the show’s fandom), has been canoodling with a forward-thinking, open-minded widow, Lady Tilley Arnold (Hannah New), throughout the season. Lady Arnold is separately dating another man, Paul Suarez (Lucas Aurelio), who meets Benedict and believes they have a spark. In this scene, Benedict decides, finally, to get into bed with both Tilley and Paul.
This, to me, was something of an unsatisfying scene, fragmented as it was. There is basically only kissing, and not even Challengers-style tripod kissing, with its funny sexiness. Every once in a while you see a man’s hand connect with a man’s hand. Le shock!
Nadira: Look, I actually love Benedict Bridgerton. Surprising, I know, but I think he’s funny! However, I found that his entire storyline this season was given short shrift, and that left it feeling unnecessary. This is my nice way of saying that I, unfortunately, found the very important moment of Benedict’s somewhat coming out to be … boring. I’m happy for him, but the consistent flitting back to his rendezvous with his bedfellow and bedlady was mostly underwhelming. Here’s hoping he gets more stirring scenes in future seasons.
Season 3, Episode 8, Minute 1:02:30: Polin Finally Finishes It Up
Nadira: At this point, Polin has finally made it out of the woods. The ton knows Penelope is Whistledown (and has forgiven her for it), relieving the immense strain that previously dominated their fresh marriage, a strain that had Colin tamping down his sexual desires. Now, they are free, happy, and finally ready to get it on. Oh, repression—the things you can do! Before the season’s end, we get a super quick scene of the newlyweds in their bedchamber doing it cowgirl style by candlelight. Penelope is still in her flowy robe, while Colin appears to be naked. It’s not giving us much, but it’s better than nothing.
Rebecca: Ugh. I’m sorry. I found it incredibly disappointing to sit through all the “will Colin be able to forgive Pen for writing a gossip column” stuff, which started to make less and less sense as it went on, only to be rewarded after all those “he’s sleeping on the settee! He’s still mad” nights with … a minimal and boring scene of Pen on top, while the Lady Whistledown voice-over is wrapping things up for us. I waited weeks, for this?
Overall
Rebecca: OK. It’s reckoning time. How hot-to-trot did this season leave you, on a scale of 1 to 10? I am giving it a 4, and most of those points go directly to Colin’s finger move and Polin’s eye lock in the Carriage Scene. The rest of it was truly a nothingburger!
Nadira: I’m right there with you, Rebecca. It’s a 4 for me as well, though a good number of my contributing points also come from Anthony and Kate’s reappearance. I love a good romance, but the two halves of this season were rather uneven on that front. Regardless, this is a Sex Review, not a Romance Review, and this season left me a bit wanting.
